Month: April 2011

Little Things

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
— Antonio Smith

Today was a gorgeous, warm spring day, and J. begged to go out back to play after weeks of being cooped up indoors due to lots of rain. I sat nearby and watched as J. (who is now two years and two months old) played in his water table. I was treated to a view of the world through his eyes, as time seemed to slow down, and I found myself noticing and appreciating the smallest details. J. was completely absorbed in the activity of scooping up a cup of a water, pouring it into a funnel,  and watching the water stream out the other end. He repeated this sequence of events again and again.

At one point, he picked up a golf ball, and dropped it into the top of the funnel, and then looked at the bottom of the funnel expectantly. When the ball didn’t come out the bottom, he looked over at me with a slightly perplexed expression, and shrugged his shoulders.

He then poured another cup of water into the funnel, and grinned when it came out the bottom of the funnel, but dripping instead of flowing, because the ball was partially blocking the flow of the water.

As he was experimenting like this, a plane flew overhead. Planes are of great interest to J., likely because heaeroplane.‘s been on one several times to visit his Nanny, and also because his Nanny is coming to visit him again soon, and we’ve been talking with him about her visit. Usually he yells, “Plane! Nanny?”, and waves when he sees one.

Today J. looked up, pointed to the plane and said “Plane.” I responded, “Yes, I see the plane too!” He nodded, and went back to scooping and pouring water, with the words, “Plane.One.” A few minutes later, another plane flew overhead. J. again excitedly located and pointed to the plane, shouting, “Plane! Two!” I acknowledged, “Yes there is another plane!”

Well, wouldn’t you know, not five minutes later, another plane passed overhead ? J. couldn’t contain his excitement or delight. His whole body seemed to reach to the sky to point out what to him amounted to the eighth wonder of the world. “Plane! Many!” he declared, at full volume. I smiled a big smile. “Can you believe it, three planes in a row?” Yup, planes, many!

Ouch! Baby Bites While Nursing

I had a question today from a young Mom asking if I could guide her to some information about gentle and effective ways to respond to her baby who has started biting while breastfeeding.

Kathy first posed her question on a discussion board, which led to a lively discussion with conflicting opinions about what she should do, (none of which felt quite right to her) including the suggestion that she should “flick” her baby’s nose so the baby would learn to associate the pain with the biting, and therefore be less likely to bite in the future. This prompted another participant in the forum to ask if a four month old baby was too young to learn from having her nose “flicked” and yet another to ask,  “What if the baby only bites when she’s asleep?”

 Nursing Time

I am not a lactation consultant or expert, yet I can say without hesitation that “flicking” a baby’s nose in order to cause pain, thus”teaching” her not to bite while breastfeeding, is not a gentle, respectful way to approach the situation, and I doubt that it’s very effective, anyway.

Babies are not able to take the viewpoint of another, and so don’t yet understand that their actions may cause another person pain. This understanding develops slowly over time. In my opinion, “flicking” a four month old baby’s nose to “teach” her not to bite could be considered mildly abusive.

Babies learn in the context of loving, trusting relationships with patient, caring adults. To be sure, this does not mean that a Mom should have to quietly endure her baby’s bite, as innocent or exploratory as it might be, but the solution is not to inflict pain on the baby in return.

In the case of a baby who only bites when she is asleep, the solution is simple: Remove (or unlatch) the baby from your breast  before the baby falls asleep, or as soon as you notice the baby has fallen asleep. If baby has filled her tummy, and is now drowsing off, it’s best to allow her to fall asleep without using your breast as a “pacifier”. (Very young babies may fall asleep at the breast more quickly and easily, but if they are still hungry, they will rouse with a change of position and resume vigorous nursing.)

In terms of Magda Gerber’s teachings about breastfeeding, she recognized feeding times as intimate, connected times, and also as “learning” times for babies. She urged Moms to minimize distractions, focus on baby, and pay close attention to their cues whenever or however feeding a baby – by breast, bottle, or spoon. She also encouraged Moms to separate a baby’s need for nourishment from a baby’s need or desire to suckle for comfort. For more on Magda Gerber’s approach to feeding babies in attuned, respectful ways from the very beginning, I refer you to Janet Lansbury’s wonderful, informative post,  Mindful Mouthfuls -Helping Our Babies Learn Healthy Eating.

The question remains- what are  gentle but effective ways to discourage a baby from biting while breastfeeding? I like some of the information and guidelines offered by Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC  who suggests several reasons why a baby may be biting (not hungry, boredom, experimentation, teething, or asking for Mom to pay (more) attention, among others).

Depending on the age of your baby, and the  circumstances in which she is biting, there are a number of possible solutions. Kelly notes that a baby who is actively nursing is not able to bite, and also discusses ways to help Mom and baby adjust the latch when baby is not biting, but Mom is uncomfortable due to pressure from baby’s teeth.

I’d love it if any of you who have had experience with your baby biting during breastfeeding would share your thoughts or solutions with Kathy (and me) below.