Category: Respectful Parenting

One Particular Baby

 

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” -Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement address 2005. (My answer is, “Yes, I would!”)

Right now, there are no words that come easily, and I’m no poet, so all I have to offer is unvarnished, straightforward, and honest facts. I’ve struggled with what (if anything) to say on this blog about recent changes in my life, but so many of you have opened your hearts, trusted me, and shared your most tender feelings, questions, and fears, I feel it’s important for me to return the favor.

Three weeks ago, the phone rang. From across the country, my aunt shared news that would turn my world upside down- my brother and my Dad both weathering serious health crises, and my brother and his girlfriend were expecting a baby, due August 7.

Little R. came into this world a bit earlier than expected, on July 22. A new life, precious and vulnerable. Because her parents were unable to assume caring for her, she was placed with a foster family under an emergency order. A week of sleepless nights, and countless phone calls and conversations later, I found myself on a plane to visit both my brother and my Dad, with no clear answers, and only a hope of actually being able to meet R.

Meeting My New Niece For The First Time

 

Miracle of miracles, I was able  to spend three hours with R. over the course of two visits in the week that I was in the state that I once upon a time (a lifetime ago) called my home. My brother and his girlfriend expressed a desire to have me assume R.’s foster care, and although the decision is ultimately up to the courts, I immediately realized that this was a request I could not and would not refuse- however, my husband was just as clear that this was a situation that he could not accept.

There are times in life when none of the choices are easy or ideal, and we are called upon to step up and live into our values and ideals even if it is hard and involves personal sacrifice. In this case, my course of action is clear, given who I am and what I believe in when it comes to babies and families in general, and this particular baby, who is a part of my family, and who is in need. This post, called Faithfulness, by Vanessa Kohlhaas, has been a source of inspiration, comfort, and food for thought in recent days.

“Our faithfulness is continuously tested.  We do not get to be in relationship with others in a vacuum – and why would we want to.  We are challenged in our relationships to change, develop and grow.  And through this work we allow our love to deepen and grow with us.” Vanessa Kohlhaas

I am in the process of doing what I must do to prepare to move to Florida for the time being, to support my family and see them through to the other side of this crisis.There is sadness and loss, but there is also joy, and the promise of new beginnings, as I step into the unknown and say goodbye to the family I have loved and cared for for six years, and the community, friends, and life that I have built here in Santa Cruz, over the past three and a half years. It also means letting go of the wedding celebration Bence and I had been planning, and putting aside plans to grow Regarding Baby in new ways- at least for the time being.

There are more unknowns and unanswered questions than there are sureties right now, but if I’ve learned anything in the (almost) forty nine years I’ve been alive, I’ve learned that change is the only constant in life, and I need to just keep showing up with love, while trusting and following my heart where it leads me, even if it’s not where I planned on going. It’s a bit of a bumpy ride right now, but I am being carried by the outpouring of love and support from friends and family both near and far.

I will continue to write this blog, and I will continue to provide phone consultations, (and who knows?), maybe I will bring RIE parenting classes to South Florida. I’m sure I will have much to share with all of you as I navigate night time feedings and wakings, assuming I’m not too bleary eyed to write at all!

For those of you who have asked how you can help, at this time what I most need is help to find a good home for my beloved kitty Pandera. I’m not able to take her with me, and while that is heartbreaking, my mind will be much more at ease if I can find her a loving home. Pandera is a beautiful, healthy, intelligent, curious, and most of all, gentle soul, who loves nothing better than to curl up on your lap and purr. She is good company, and a talker. She must be an only cat, and she must be an indoor cat, but she does well with dogs and children. She is about four years old, and is a silver tipped Bengal. I’d appreciate any help or leads in finding her a good home. You can comment here, call me (831-296-2229), email me (lisa at regardingbaby dot org), or find me on facebook.

 

 

 

Does Your Toddler’s Desire to Climb Make YOU Want to Climb The Walls?

“Help! My toddler has discovered climbing and tries to climb everything — chairs, tables, gates, bookcases. I am constantly telling him no and pulling him down from things. When we’re at someone else’s house it’s hard to enjoy myself because I’m always chasing him. What can I do to get him to stop? Or is climbing a good thing?” When and where is it appropriate to allow babies and toddlers to climb? Should they be allowed to climb on furniture or in the shopping cart areas of store parking lots because they want to and they are capable of doing so?

IMG_1152

 

Many children go through a stage of wanting to climb on everything, and some never seem to outgrow the desire to climb! Children develop their self confidence, balance, judgement, planning skills, eye/hand coordination, perseverance, and more as they climb and move their bodies through space, so why not let them climb anywhere and everywhere they choose to? You might be surprised to hear that I discourage allowing young children to climb on furniture, (or in public places like store parking lots that aren’t designed for this purpose), and my reason for doing so doesn’t have as much to do with safety concerns (although safety is a consideration), as it does with the fact that furniture is not made for climbing on, and while I encourage and support children to move, explore, and play freely, I also feel strongly about guiding young children to learn to respect not only themselves, but other people, and their environment. The reality is that we live in relationship and community with others, and children first learn about expectations, boundaries, and social mores at home with parents and siblings. I think babies and toddlers are able to understand that there are places and times appropriate for climbing, and others that aren’t, and a child’s desire (and maybe even need) to climb and explore can be met even as loving adults guide him to appropriate places to practice and hone his physical skills.

I once worked  in a childcare center as a member of a teaching team of three, caring for a group of seven infants and toddlers ranging in age from three to fifteen months. A frequent topic of conversation during our weekly planning meetings was how to utilize our classroom space to best meet the developmental needs of the group. We were lucky to have access to a number of  movable pieces of wooden climbing equipment, and a twin sized mattress, so the possibilities for creative and challenging room arrangements were many. We also had access to a fenced, grassy, shaded play yard with climbing equipment suitable for mobile babies and young toddlers.

We had a wide open floor plan, with floor to ceiling windows against one wall, a separate nap room, a designated area for diaper changing and a small kitchen area with a linoleum floor and a toddler sized table and chairs. There was a rocking chair for adults to sit in while feeding babies a bottle. One of the most frustrating aspects (for children and adults) of this floor plan was that while we endeavored to create an environment that allowed the children to play and explore freely, we often found ourselves having to stop inquisitive and eager new explorers from climbing over the non-mobile babies, or on the table or the rocking chair, or from trying to scale the low wooden toy shelves. The children often made no distinction between the “approved” climbing equipment, and the other babies or the utilitarian pieces of furniture in the room, and in fact, sometimes seemed to prefer the furniture for climbing.

My colleagues argued that we should patiently and consistently let children know that other children, the table, chairs, and the rocking chair weren’t for climbing, which meant stopping them and showing them where they could climb instead. If a child was particularly persistent, and not easily redirected we resorted to “containing” him  for a short while by sitting him in a chair at the table with a book or a few toys, or maybe by taking him and a few friends for a walk outside in the stroller. In theory, this sounded like a good idea, but in practice, we ended up spending a lot of our day redirecting babies and saying no, which was frustrating for them and for us, especially since there was usually only two adults in the room at a time, and one of us would inevitably be busy changing, feeding, or helping a baby in the nap room, while the other supervised the remaining children.

climbing steps

 

I had a nagging discomfort, a feeling that somehow we weren’t meeting the needs of the children very well, because (my rationale went) if they were so driven to climb, we either needed to provide an environment that met and allowed for that need without us having to constantly redirect them, or maybe we should let them climb wherever they wanted to, and not restrict them (except for when it came to climbing over other babies). After all, with the exception of the glider, which could potentially tip over if a toddler stood up on it, none of the furniture posed a very big safety risk. My colleagues maintained that it was important for the babies to learn that some places were for climbing, and others weren’t. I didn’t know if I agreed if it meant spending my day “putting out fires” and  redirecting babies to other areas of the room, or somehow confining them.

In the midst of my search for answers to this dilemma, I was introduced to Magda Gerber’s idea of creating a totally safe, but challenging, play environment for babies in which they are free to explore and move as they wish without a lot of interference or direction from adults. This seemed like an impossible task to accomplish given our floor plan and the fact that we were caring for seven babies of varying ages and developmental abilities in the same room. Much to my surprise, there was a simple answer to our dilemma, and that was to use sturdy gates to create very clear environmental boundaries for babies. The other solution was to stop rearranging and re-configuring the room on a weekly basis as we had been doing- the theory being that the babies didn’t need novelty as much as they needed consistency and predictability.

We decided to try this idea, using gates to partition the room into four distinct areas- one for feeding, another for diaper changing, a small play area for non-mobile infants, with the largest part of the room becoming a play and climbing area for mobile babies and toddlers, with a cozy quiet nook under the climbing structure. The “creation” of distinct areas for certain tasks immediately reduced the need for adult intervention and redirection by about 90%. It was clear to the children what the purpose of each area was, and despite the gates, which had to be opened and closed by the adults, the children actually had more freedom and choice than they had enjoyed previously.

This was the beginning of my understanding of how to “use” or adapt the home or school environment to create safety and freedom within clearly defined limits. So, how might this lesson translate in a home and family environment if you’ve got a little climber on your hands, and you want to encourage and support her growing physical prowess and mastery? What can you do to allow her to exercise her desire to test her limits, while also helping her to learn to exercise some self control, learn social graces, and to utilize furniture for its intended purpose as opposed to using furniture as her personal climbing gym? Here are some ideas:

 

Two Ideas For Creating Inexpensive Outdoor Climbing Opportunities In A Small Space

 

1) Childproof and use gates in your home and yard to block off areas or rooms that are off limits unless you are able to be present and available to intervene and model desired and expected behavior. If you are able to, consider dedicating a room or part of a room to creating a completely safe play area, and start spending time with your baby in this play space from day one.This space can evolve as your child grows and her needs change. If you’ve got stairs in your home, use them to allow your child to practice climbing. Do this by using a sturdy gate to block off all but one or two stairs, and then gradually increase the number of stairs she has access to as she becomes more confident.

2) Within the environment you have created, allow your child free, unrestricted movement. Stay nearby to observe, but don’t put babies into positions (or lift them onto equipment) they can’t get into by themselves. In this way, they will develop good judgment about what they can and can’t safely do. Surprisingly, a recent news article pointed to the fact that a common playground injury (a tibia fracture) often occurs when parents slide down playground slides with their toddlers on their laps! Magda Gerber urged parents to allow babies to move in their own time and their own way, according to their inner dictates,”Whenever you restrict an infant from doing what he could and would do naturally, in my mind you tell the child, “I know what’s good for you.” But you, the adult, do not know. For example, most children (not all), when they first go down stairs, go head first-they like to see where they go. Some people say it’s safer for infants to crawl down stairs backwards, and they teach infants how to go down that way. The child may become confused because his body tells him one thing and the adult another, and then the child may fall.”

Climbing Sunshine Mountain

3) Consider adding a few simple pieces of play equipment to your indoor space that are appropriate for, and invite climbing. This can be especially important and helpful if you live in a small home and don’t have easy access to a yard, or if you live in climates that make outdoor play prohibitive at times. Here are some suggestions for climbing equipment that is sturdy but easy to move, and can be used indoors or out: I recommend the Step 2 Naturally Playful Lookout Treehouse and Community Playthings Step Climber/Rocking Boat. (You can often find perfectly good, used equipment at garage sales for a fraction of the price of new.) Here is a link to a site that sells child size table and chairs, and climbing equipment like the kind we utilize in RIE parent/infant classes.

4) Spend lots of time outdoors, at playgrounds or parks. Let your children climb rocks, trees, slides, monkey bars, and hills to their heart’s content. If the weather prohibits this, consider finding and using an indoor children’s gym or play area that has free play time. (I’d recommend avoiding organized movement classes or directed play until children are well past the preschool age.)

5) Remain calm and consistent when setting limits with your young toddler around climbing. “You want to climb on the table, but I don’t want you to climb here. The table is where we sit to eat. If you want to climb, you may climb here (showing him).”

What do you think? Do you allow your child to climb on furniture at home? Why or why not? If not, what have you found works to help satisfy your child’s desire to explore his desire to climb?

 

 

 

 

Your Baby Is Speaking To You

Newborn babies communicate with us from birth, in a language all their own. Their body posture, cries, subtle changes in expression, even the reflexes they are born with, speak volumes, but it can be a little bit hard to “understand” a baby’s way of “speaking” if you haven’t spent a lot of time hanging out with them. Well,  thanks to the new book  Your Baby Is Speaking To You,  a visual guide to the amazing behaviors of your newborn and growing baby, by Doctor Kevin Nugent, with photographs by Abelardo Morell, decoding your baby’s subtle cues just might be a little easier and less perplexing. As a professional “baby watcher” I was  captivated by this absolutely gorgeous photographic exploration of what a baby’s early postures and communications convey. This is a resource that I will be adding to my recommended books, and giving often as a gift to new and expectant parents. I highly recommend this book to  professionals working with newborns and their parents, as well.

Written in a clear, accessible, non-judgmental tone, each two page spread explores a different aspect of a baby’s “language” from sleeping to crying, to eating, to yawning, and more, by juxtaposing a photograph on one side of the page, with a brief explanation illuminating the meaning on the opposite page.From the Introduction:

“Whether it is an arching of the eyebrows or a furrowing of the brow, a splaying of the fingers or a tightening of the leg muscles, these signals are the “words” or “phrases” your baby uses to communicate, the phonemes of his first language, his first words. These behavioral signals are not random: they convey messages , provide information, and tell you what kind of caregiving your baby needs to grow and develop, what he likes or prefers, and what he does not like. Your Baby Is Speaking to You, will tell you how to watch for and interpret all these signals.”

Take a peek inside the book here, but be forewarned, if you’re noise sensitive, you might want to turn the volume off first. (When I showed this clip to a friend, he commented that the “awful sound” accompanying the video detracted from the overall beauty and message being conveyed.)

 

 

Update: This article, entitled “Know Your Baby”  appeared in The Irish Times on July 26, 2011. It  is a  fascinating exploration of Dr. Kevin Nugent’s work , and philosophy. Worth the read.

 

Changes Afoot

I haven’t been blogging often as of late, since I’ve been busy working with a web designer to give the web site a much needed and long overdue re-design. The goal is to debut a more visually appealing, much more user friendly site, packed with useful resources and inspiration to support families and others who are interested in learning more about what Magda Gerber’s respectful approach to being with babies might have to offer.

I can’t wait to have the tools that will allow for more interaction and discussion among all of us! As it stands now with the current site, this is a cumbersome process.

Besides working to update the site, I’m gearing up to start a weekly Saturday class locally in Santa Cruz, and I’ve been working with a business coach to guide me through this process in an intelligent way. Who knew starting a small business isn’t as easy as hanging out a shingle?

To be honest, I did know, but I didn’t anticipate what a feat it would be trying to accomplish this task while caring for and providing full time support for a family with two small children. Having the support and guidance of my brilliant business coach Ryan Eliason (at www.ryaneliason.com) has made all the difference in terms of helping to keep me sane and on task.

I am trying to be patient with the process, and the time it takes to make and build connections in a new community. This isn’t always easy for me, but is good practice for being with babies, because being with them requires the same kind of willingness to be patient, go slowly, and wait for growth and progress to manifest in it’s own good time. It helps me to frame it this way anyway, when I am feeling impatient, and want to see results yesterday!

I’ve had the pleasure of providing private consultations and workshops to a small number of local families this past year, and I will be speaking to a number of local parent groups in the near future as well.

I have also been busy reading and commenting on other people’s blogs. Anyone who knows me even a little, or has read my blog, knows that I am a voracious reader. I read to learn, for enjoyment, for answers to questions, for inspiration, to be challenged. I need to read like I need to breathe. And I love reading blogs, because not only does doing so provide all of the things books provide, but blogs also provide the opportunity for discussion and debate, which is something else I value highly and enjoy immensely.

I’d like to share links to some of my favorite sites, the ones I find inspiring and helpful in my work with children and families, and I would love, love, love, to hear from you about your favorites.

Here’s where you can find me: www.janetlansbury.com. Janet Lansbury is a mother, and a RIE parent educator. Magda Gerber was her dear friend and mentor. elevating childcare is her on-line resource for parents, and she’s just added a community forum as well. This is the blog I wish I could write!

Kathleen is a mom who wants to participate in conversation about politics, the environment, food, wine, and parenting- when she has a moment 2 think. She’s at amoment2think.wordpress.com/.

Parenting Science bills itself as a site for the thinking parent. They can be found at parentingscience.com . They examine the science of parenting and child development. Because inquiring minds want to know!

The following sites are of particular interest to me as well, as they resonate with deeply held beliefs and values: In Praise of Slowness at carlhonore.com. Carl Honore has been called the father of the Slow Movement. He says the slow movement is not about doing everything at a snail’s pace, but about doing everything at the right pace.

Simplicity parenting at simplicityparenting.com. Simplicity parenting focuses on using the power of less to raise calmer, happier, more secure children.

Last but not at all least, Campaign For A Commercial Free Childhood (the little non-profit that could!). CCFC works to counter the harmful effects of marketing to children through action, advocacy, education, and research. Find them at commercialexploitation.org.

Happy reading, and conversing!

“I yam what I yam, and that’s all that I yam.”

Recently S. said, “Lisa, I just like what I like, and I don’t like what I don’t like, and it’s always going to be that way. But I might like some new things when I get bigger.”

S. will be celebrating her fifth birthday in a few weeks, and is quite sure of who she is, and what she likes and doesn’t like.

Maybe because her birthday is fast approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how she’s grown and changed over the past four years since I’ve known her.

One thing that strikes me is that the essence of who S. is has remained remarkably constant over time.

The other day when she was upset about something, and I asked her what was wrong and what would make her feel better, she cried out, “Nothing!” before flouncing off to her room to regain her calm by looking through some of her beloved books.

S. has reacted in this very same way whenever she has been frustrated or overwhelmed, since she’s been less than two years old. Then, she would respond, “Anything!” to our inquiries and attempts to help, before retreating to her room to regain balance. (Mind you, we never sent her to her room, this was her chosen way to calm herself).

Any seasoned parent will tell you that babies arrive in this world with their own unique personalities and quirks, which tend to remain constant over time.

Knowing and understanding a child’s particular personality and ways of approaching life can help us to be more sensitive parents and teachers to them.

Magda Gerber believed we could best come to know and understand babies by stepping back a bit, and observing, to give them time and space to express and develop their unique personalities.

A recent study seems to confirm that our personalities are set for life by the time we are in the first grade, and our personalities as children can predict our behavior as adults.The researchers looked at traits such as talkativeness and adaptability.

The author of the study (Christopher Nave), which was done at the University of California at Riverside, was quoted as saying, “We remain recognizably the same person, which speaks to the importance of understanding personality because it does follow us wherever we go across time and contexts.”

I wonder if this is why our image of ourselves remains fairly constant across time as well, and if it explains why we can be celebrating our fortieth birthday, but not feel so much older, or so much different from when we were much younger, despite all the physical evidence to the contrary?

To be sure, our own personalities have a huge impact on the way we parent (or care), and knowing and understanding ourselves can go a long way to building our relationship with our children, and navigating potentially difficult situations. With self understanding we can remain true to who we are, and draw on our strengths while meeting the needs of our children who may have very different personalities from us.

The Myers Briggs Inventory is one popular tool which is used to determine personality type, and cognitive (learning) style. It tends to be highly accurate, and is often used to guide people to work that best suits them and that they’ll most enjoy.

I took the test once as a young adult, and again just recently, and the results remained the same over time.

Now, I’m not suggesting you take the Myers Briggs Inventory, but I do want to share a new book and web site that I just discovered that I think is a wonderful, supportive tool for parents (and teachers of young children as well) who are interested in exploring this topic a bit more.

It is called MotherStyles, and it uses personality theory to help you discover your strengths as a parent. You can find it here: www.motherstyles.com.

You don’t have to buy the book to benefit from what the author, Janet Penley, who is a mother herself, has to offer. You can take either a brief or a longer survey on-line, and discover your parenting type or style, and there is a wealth of information and a blog, that will help you to understand the strengths you bring to parenting.

What I love is that this web site is so positive, and practical. Janet believes that:1) Good mothers come in many styles, and every mother brings natural strengths to the mothering experience that make her children lucky to have her as a mother.

2)No mother is perfect, because every mother is human- so along with the strengths you bring to mothering, you have limitations, needs, and vulnerabilities. The good news is kids don’t need perfect mothers- they need human mothers.

3)Finally, self- knowledge is the key to successful parenting, just as it is in any job or relationship, but doubly so in mothering because the mother’s role is both job and relationship.

I can whole-heartedly recommend this resource to all parents and teachers of young children. Check it out today!

Never Say Never

You’ve noticed the lack of posts recently.

There’s been good reason for the silence. I’ve been a little overwhelmed in the past few months preparing to move back to California. The family I have been working with for the past two years left this morning to finalize the purchase of their new home in Santa Cruz, and I will be joining them in a few weeks time, after presenting a workshop for childcare providers in Rhode Island.

A lot of change is afoot for all of us. S.’s Mom and Dad will be starting new jobs at the University Of Santa Cruz, we will be welcoming a new baby to the family in January, as well as trying to settle into a new home. S. is excited about starting pre-school part time, and being a big sister.

As for me, I’m sad to be leaving home AGAIN , but not sad about missing winter ! I am committed to supporting this family through the challenges and joys the upcoming changes will bring, and grateful that my chosen work allows me such wonderful opportunities.

I plan to continue developing this web site and possibly do some consulting and start a parent/infant class in Santa Cruz. Time will tell how things progress. If I’ve learned anything about life, it’s that I can’t predict the twists and turns it will take ! This move is not what I planned on, or expected, but what a wonderful adventure I imagine it will be !

Take Care of Yourself

 

“As much as we want to do for and give to our children, we can’t pour into them when we’re running on empty. Every once in a while, and definitely more often than most of us do, we need to fill our own buckets. This looks different for each of us – walking, exercising, reading, writing, scrapbooking, Zumba – whatever it is, I’d encourage you to just do it! And not feel guilty about it…. Put on your own oxygen mask first! Self-care is not selfish. It simply enables you to breathe.” Tammi

KURDISTAN Flowers Nature

I always thought the Peace Corps got it wrong; theirs isn’t “the toughest job you’re ever going to love”- parenting is! The airlines, on the other hand, got it right: if you’re traveling with a child, and an oxygen mask becomes necessary, you should secure your mask before turning your attention to your child’s needs. This is good advice for parenting in general.

Take care of yourself so that you can be present for, and take care of your child. Make sure you are well nourished, and well rested. (Take naps when your child does, if you can.) Don’t feel guilty about turning off the phone and the computer at times – the phone calls and messages will wait. Lower your expectations for yourself in terms of keeping a perfectly clean home and cooking gourmet meals. (Get ye to Trader Joe’s if you’ve got one near you.)

Ask your partner to pitch in with chores and childcare (and be gracious enough to allow him or her to do things his/her own way). Hire all the help you can afford, or if you can’t afford help, trade off an afternoon of childcare with another Mom, and/or ask family or friends to help out when you need it.

Buy yourself flowers, take deep breaths often, go to the park and talk to other Moms, or join a free on-line community. You know what it is that will best nurture and sustain you, and if you don’t, you need to figure it out. Then take/make time to do whatever it is that nurtures you on a regular basis.

Who really cares if your children are wearing two different colored socks when it comes right down to it? (They may be trend setters!) You can drive yourself crazy trying to maintain some perfect standard, or you can relax, and enjoy your time with your child. You can only do so much in a day. It’s important to figure out who and what is truly important to you, and focus your energy there. No guilt allowed! “Do less,enjoy more,” was Magda Gerber’s mantra, or would have been, had she had a mantra!

When times are hard, remind yourself that whatever it is, it will pass. While I don’t agree with time out for children, I highly recommend regular time out for adults! Here are a few ways to accomplish a time out for yourself when you are feeling impatient or at your wits end:

One way is to be honest and say to your child, “Things aren’t working right now. I feel impatient and need a break.” Once you’ve said this, take a break! Place your child in a safe place with some books and toys, take a deep breath, and make a cup of tea. Though I generally don’t advocate TV for young children, if you are not adverse to the idea, NOW is the time to pop in that 30 minute Sesame Street video.

Or, you can practice a technique a fellow colleague of mine calls Stop, Drop, and Roll (with the punches). When you feel yourself starting to lose perspective, ready to cry, or yell at your child, JUST STOP.

Stop trying to do whatever you were trying to do (or encourage your toddler to do), get down on the floor with her, and play for ten minutes. You can read a story, sing a song, do some yoga poses, or best of all, quietly observe your child and enjoy her.

Remind yourself that you love her. Remind yourself that whatever it is that seems so impossible in this moment will pass in time. When you are ready, start fresh again. It may sound crazy, but I know from experience and parent testimonials- “It works! It works!”

Another idea is to take the baby and get outside in nature. A simple walk around the block can do wonders for your mood, and for your child’s.

Remember, you are your child’s first role model and teacher. If you don’t pay attention to, and make it a priority to take time to take care of yourself, how can you expect to teach your child to focus, co-operate, and participate in her own self care?

For those who are parents of babies and young toddlers, and like to read, here are two books I recommend: Mama Zen, Walking The Crooked Path of Motherhood, and  1, 2, 3 The Toddler Years, A Practical Guide For Parents and Caregivers. 

We aren’t born with the skills necessary to know how to parent our children well, and in many cases we haven’t had good role models ourselves. Even if we have had good role models, our parents may be deceased, or we may live far away from them.

It is so important for parents today to find a community, and not to live in isolation. Take advantage of every available resource open to you to gain information and support. There are free and low cost resources in every community- so you need not feel support and help are out of reach if you don’t have a lot of money.

Be good to yourself, and this will enable you to not just survive, but to thrive, and enjoy your child’s early years!

What ways you’ve found to nourish and take care of yourself as a parent? Please share!

Updated: October 2, 2012