Tag: tummy time

Tummy Time Baby’s Way

Natural, unassisted gross motor development means waiting for baby to choose tummy time. This is how it happens, or at least how it’s happening here…

One day before her 5 month birthday, R. turned onto her tummy all by herself. She was startled and didn’t like it much, and immediately let out a loud wail. After acknowledging what she had accomplished, “You turned onto your tummy!”,  I told her I was going to pick her up, and after a bit of cuddling, I placed her down in her play space on her back, where she contentedly continued to play for another hour.

IMAG0475

She chose not to return to the tummy position for almost a full month afterwards. She would play on her back, finding her toys,  bringing them to mid-line, and her mouth, and she also did quite a bit of playing while lying on her side, but she stopped short of turning onto her tummy.

Then one day, about a month later, she DID turn onto her tummy, and while it was clear to me that she was “ready” for this experience, as evidenced by the fact that she could lift her head and look around easily in this position, as well as support herself on her forearms, and reach and grab for toys, she was STILL clear she did not like it, and was uncomfortable.

I continued to put her on her back for play, and let her choose, and about two weeks ago, even though she never again turned onto her tummy during play time while awake, she started turning onto her tummy when she was in her crib, asleep. The change in position would inevitably wake her, and she’d cry out to me in distress.

I responded by going to her and acknowledging, “You turned onto your tummy, and you woke up. I am going to pick you up, and put you down on your back, so you can rest.” She would sigh and stretch out and go back to sleep, although I often didn’t! This cycle repeated itself 5 or 6 times a night.

For the past three nights, R. has continued to turn herself over in her sleep, and each time, she cries out briefly, but then immediately goes back to sleep on her own, still on her tummy. Here is how I find her when I go in to greet her in the morning:

858271_10151247911156261_258423484_o

 

Today, one day shy of her 7 month birthday, she has been on a nap strike. She is clearly tired, and seems happy to be in her crib, but shortly after I leave the room, she cries out insistently, and when I respond, I find she is on her tummy, and often has moved a full 180 degrees from the position she was originally in.

She grins when she sees me, and I tell her (after a few minutes of observing her and talking with her), that I am going to pick her up, place her on her back, and let her rest. We have repeated this cycle about ten times so far today. In between NOT napping, I feed her and change her diaper, and we enjoy this slow, connected, time together, and then she plays contentedly on her back  for short periods in her play space.

R. has not yet figured out how to (or that she can) turn from her tummy to her back on her own, so she needs my support right now. I see my role as listening to her, acknowledging her, reassuring her, and re-positioning her when she tells me she is too uncomfortable, and doesn’t know how to turn back on her own. Most of all, I view my role as trusting her, trusting her process, trusting her timing, and trusting that she is going to figure this out for herself in her own time, if I just wait and offer her the right amount of support.

Is it easy for either of us? No. There is struggle. There is frustration. There is disruption in sleep. There is complaining (on both our parts). Would I do it any other way, or change anything if I could? Not a thing.

R. is learning to learn. She is learning that she is in charge of her own body and her own process. She is learning to trust herself. She is learning to trust me. I am learning to trust her. She is learning that SHE is in control, and that she can move one way, and then another way, if she is not comfortable. And she’s learning that she’s not alone in this, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be for her right now. These are lessons that will serve her well throughout her life.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about and you are curious to learn more, or if you have an idea of what I’m talking about, and still want to learn more, I can do no better than to refer you to Janet Lansbury’s site, elevating childcare, for she (and Magda Gerber before her) has been my truest and most trusted guide, mentor, friend, and teacher.

 

 

NO Tummy Time Necessary

Allowing babies to move freely, according to their own inner schedules and dictates,  is a hallmark of Magda Gerber’s RIE philosophy. When babies are allowed to develop naturally, in their own time and their own way, they learn to move with ease and grace. They tend to have excellent body awareness and posture, and a good sense of where their bodies are in space.

Allowing a baby’s gross motor development to unfold naturally means avoiding placing babies into positions they can’t get into or out of on their own. Ideally, young babies are set on their backs not just for sleep, but for playtime as well, because this is the position that most supports their bodies, and in which they are most relaxed and free to move. What this means is no tummy time for babies until they spontaneously begin to roll first to their sides, and then unto their tummies. It means not pulling or propping a baby with pillows into a sitting position until he can move into this position on his own. It means avoiding all baby “containers” like bouncy seats, exersaucers, and baby swings, and using car seats judiciously. It means not lifting a toddler onto a piece of play equipment, like a slide, that she can’t yet scale herself.

There are many advantages for babies who are allowed to develop their ability to move on their own without adult assistance or interference. For instance, they are safer and less likely to fall from playground equipment and injure themselves, because they develop good judgment. As Magda Gerber said, “If they can climb up by themselves, we can trust that they can climb down safely.” (For an excellent description of how children learn to sense where their bodies are in space, see: Learning to “Sense” Space: Why Kids May Fall Out of Bed,  at Moving Smart.)

It turns out nature has a plan, and it’s a good one. All children develop gross motor skills in the same sequence, and all that varies is the timing. If children are given the opportunity to practice moving freely, they will be in tune with and strengthen their ability to listen to their innate body wisdom. At every stage, in every way, they will be doing exactly what they need to do to prepare themselves to achieve the next milestone. Their gross motor abilities will unfold before our eyes- no adult help or intervention is necessary. They will not attempt to use equipment or take risks they are not yet ready for.

When we place babies in positions that they are not yet able to achieve on their own, we may put them at risk of injury, of developing poor coordination and posture, and equally importantly, we risk cutting off their inner agenda, and their self-initiated exploration. There are recent studies that show that babies placed in baby walkers and exersaucers, actually develop their ability to walk at a later date than babies who have not been exposed to such devices.

Magda suggested that babies know best how to be babies, and there are just some things we should not rush. The message babies might get when we “help” them, by pulling them to sitting before they can do it on their own for instance, might be this one: “I don’t value and appreciate what you can do, but I expect you to do what you can not yet do.” Is this the message we want our babies to get? What implications do you think this has for a baby’s developing sense of self, his ability to learn, or her ability to trust herself?

Another thing to consider is that when we put babies into positions that they can’t yet achieve on their own, we make them dependent on us, because they have limited mobility, and are stuck until we come to rescue them.

Most young babies are very uncomfortable, and loudly protest when they are placed on their tummies to “play”. They can’t yet lift their heads or hold them up for very long, so they can’t see much. The ways in which they can move their arms and legs are limited. All they can do is learn to endure the discomfort they feel, or cry, and hope someone will come to move them into a more comfortable position.

I learned from infant specialist Magda Gerber, who learned from her friend and mentor, Hungarian pediatrician Emmi Pikler, who learned from carefully observing and documenting the development of hundreds of babies over many years.

And if seeing is believing, all you need to do is watch this short video montage of baby Liv, which follows her development throughout her first year. This four-minute video, produced by Irene Gutteridge, as part of a project called The Next 25 Years speaks volumes about how babies learn to move easefully and gracefully, from back to side, to tummy, and back again. Just look at Liv’s face when she achieves her goal of turning onto her tummy. Priceless!

Tummy Time- Report From the Trenches

Click on the link below for an excellent blog post and discussion of tummy time (or in this case no tummy time) by a Mom who is raising her babies utilizing Maria Montessori (and Magda Gerber’s) philosophies.

I love this blog because it is well written, thoughtful, and honest! Interesting side note here: Maria Montessori wrote very little about the care and teaching of infants and toddlers- her interests, her work and the methods she developed were primarily focused on children age three and older. But Montessori and Gerber shared many similar beliefs and ways of seeing and thinking about children and their development and needs. In recent years, Magda Gerber’s ideas and work have highly influenced modern Montessori practice with regard to infants and toddlers.

Now go read some more! Be sure to read the comments following the blog post- the discussion adds to the post…

http://mommybahn.blogspot.com/2006/04/motomontessori.html

Tummy Time and Other Trends

Trends come and go. It seems to me parenting trends are established when some expert makes or highlights a “new finding ” in regard to infant development, the media picks up on it, and the marketing experts get to work publishing new books and developing new products for parents to buy, to support them in “helping their baby to develop optimally.”

It is my opinion, backed up by some solid research and experience, that most of these trends prey on a parent’s fear, and don’t do anything to help a baby develop optimally – in fact, in some cases they may do more harm than good.

Here are some current trends that I wish would go. You can be sure I’ll have more to say in upcoming posts about all of these trends, and why I think caution is advised before adopting any of them, but for now I just want to list the trends that most alarm/offend me!

1) Tummy Time for babies who can’t yet roll onto their tummies by themselves.
2) Baby Einstein Anything

3) Sign Language for babies who are not hearing impaired, or don’t have hearing impaired parents.

4) Elimination Communication. Count yourself lucky if you don’t know what this is. Trust me, you’re not missing anything!

5) Doctor Harvey Karp, swaddling, and “toddlerese”.

Here you have my top five pet peeves when it comes to parenting. You realize of course, this list could change tomorrow should a new, more offensive trend pop up between now and then. It’s possible you know, because trends come and go all the time !